


I Won't Let You Go

by hajiiwa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fights, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, Shared apartment, Tumblr Prompt, insecure iwaizumi, they're in college but the go to different ones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 14:37:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7577965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hajiiwa/pseuds/hajiiwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa was known to be constantly plagued with insecurities. More often than not his pride would melt away and he would be left as a small shell of himself, riddled with fears and regrets and longings. He was pitied, then helped, and finally cherished once again. That was the way it had always been.</p><p>No one ever really saw that Iwaizumi was insecure, too.</p><p>No one except Oikawa, that is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Won't Let You Go

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Iwaizumi gets really pissed and Oikawa fears that he might get physically abused (he does _not_ , but with fighting comes fear and that's what he feels. Just be warned.)

Oikawa was known to be constantly plagued with insecurities. More often than not his pride would melt away and he would be left as a small shell of himself, riddled with fears and regrets and longings. He was pitied, then helped, and finally cherished once again. That was the way it had always been.

No one ever really saw that Iwaizumi was insecure, too.

No one except Oikawa, that is.

***

“Iwa-chan.”

The nickname fell softly from Oikawa’s lips but landed on Iwaizumi’s deaf ears, where the somewhat stockier student sat hunched over a desk. Oikawa grimaced and stepped forward.

“ _Hajime_ ,” he insisted, and rapped on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. With a startle, Iwaizumi turned.

“What is it?” he said, and blinked up at Oikawa. “I have work to finish.”

With a nervous swallow Oikawa leaned in, pressing his lips to the corner of Iwaizumi’s mouth. “Tell me what’s been going on with you,” he whispered, his breath fanning over the tanned skin a mere inch or two away. “Please.”

Iwaizumi stiffened, hesitated, then gently pushed him away. “Oikawa, I’m fine,” he said, and turned back towards the desk. “If there’s something wrong I’ll let you know, okay?”

Oikawa was not okay with that, but knew that Iwaizumi wouldn’t budge. With a sigh, he opted to collapse onto the nearby couch instead of prying further.

***

The bills were getting hard to pay.

Between college (and transportation to and from the colleges due to frequent trips), Oikawa and Iwaizumi soon found themselves scrambling for money. Their part-time jobs just weren’t cutting it.

“I could become a sex worker,” Oikawa joked one night as they ate their hastily-cooked ‘meals’. Oikawa didn’t miss the brief stiffening of Iwaizumi’s shoulders as his eyes narrowed at the tabletop.

The reaction was replaced in an instant. “You wouldn’t get any money from it,” he said, but his words held no real bite. Oikawa’s suspicion swelled up.

“Iwa-chan, you know I was kidding, right?” He asked, and clamped his lower lip between his teeth. Iwaizumi was silent for a moment.

“It’s been getting kind of hard to tell,” he said slowly, and Oikawa’s eyes widened. Before he could press for details Iwaizumi was rising, his food only half-eaten.

“I’m not hungry,” he offered as an explanation, and swiped the food into the garbage before leaving without another word.

That night, while laying in bed, Oikawa heard his stomach growl almost nonstop.

***

Their fights were becoming more and more frequent.

Often, Iwaizumi would leave for hours at a time only to come back and crash on the couch. Oikawa missed the warmth of his body, the soothing glide of his calloused fingers, the murmured ‘I love you’s each and every morning and night.

Tonight was such a night.

Oikawa sat rigidly on the couch, his eyes bloodshot from stress, his stomach in knots. It wasn’t long before Iwaizumi returned and Oikawa shot up immediately, seeing the way Iwaizumi grimaced upon spotting him.

“Iwa-chan,” he said, his voice hardly above a whisper, and jumped when Iwaizumi slammed the door behind himself. He watched with apprehensive eyes as the older male hung up his coat and slipped off his shoes, his posture just as stiff as Oikawa’s had been.

“What are you still doing up?” Iwaizumi asked, and Oikawa nearly sobbed upon realizing that those words were the most Iwaizumi had spoken to him in days. “It’s getting late.”

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa repeated, and took a step forward. “Iwa-chan, please, tell me what’s going on--”

“Like you don’t know,” Iwaizumi snapped, and Oikawa physically recoiled.

Iwaizumi shouldered past him but Oikawa yanked on his arm, bringing the two of them close. “Hajime, tell me,” he said, his tone of voice pleading. Iwaizumi twisted his arm away and stormed off towards the bedroom, only to be stopped once again.

“Hajime, _please_!” Oikawa cried, his voice breaking under the strain. “You’ve been so distant, Hajime, you’re scaring me--”

“I’ve been distant?” Iwaizumi interrupted, and Oikawa felt his eyes start to water. “ _I've_ been distant?! Alright, fine. You want to know why I’ve been acting like this?”

Without giving Oikawa a proper chance to answer, Iwaizumi continued. “Every night I go out, and each time I’m just waiting to come home and catch you with someone else,” he said, his voice bitter and quiet. Oikawa’s heart flopped into his stomach.

“Wh--? Why would I be with someone else?” He asked, tears dangerously close to falling. “I love  _you_ , Hajime, h-how--”

“I don’t _fucking_ know, Oikawa!” Iwaizumi shouted, his fists clenched and his own eyes watery. “Maybe it’s because you’re hit on left and right, you could easily pick up a goddamn model, you could-- you could live a _better life_.”

His words descended on Oikawa and clogged his throat, quickened his heartbeat, and overflowed his eyes with tears. “I would n-never,” he said, shaking his head wildly. “It’s only e-ever been you, Hajime, please--”

“You know what I’m saying is true,” said Iwaizumi, and took a step back. “Look _around_ , Tooru, is this really where you want to be?!”

“Yes, I’m with _you_!” Oikawa sobbed, clenched his teeth together so violently that it hurt. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted, and you’re here, you’re _with me_ , so I don’t-- I can’t-- I need you, Hajime! Always!”

Oikawa sniffled thickly and stared at the ground. “I won’t let you go,” he whispered unsteadily.

The silence that settled between them was stifling. Oikawa was almost afraid to look up, afraid that Iwaizumi would yell or hurt him or leave, which were fears he had hoped he would never have to deal with. When Iwaizumi took a cautious step forward Oikawa flinched and his eyes darted upwards, stretching wide when he saw the tears tracking down Iwaizumi’s cheeks.

No words were needed. There was no hesitation when Oikawa flung himself towards Iwaizumi, clawing desperately at his back and sobbing weakly into his shoulder, feeling oddly small in the circle of Iwaizumi’s strong arms.

“Please don’t yell at me l-like that again,” Oikawa said, and felt Iwaizumi’s embrace tighten.

“I won’t,” was his simple answer. “I’m so, so sorry, Tooru, I…”

Only when the tears had dried did Oikawa pull away. “Trust me, Hajime,” he said, and was shocked by the hoarseness in his own voice, “I would never… you’re the only…”

“I know,” Iwaizumi answered, and the weak smile he gave made Oikawa’s stomach churn with relief. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“Not feeling worthy enough is something I’m well acquainted with,” Oikawa mumbled weakly, and sniffled. “In that respect you don’t have anything to apologize for. Y-you’ll always be enough for me, Hajime, and more.”

Iwaizumi leaned in and gingerly knocked their foreheads together. “I love you,” he promised, and held him closer once again.  
  
They fell asleep in the same bed that night.

**Author's Note:**

> hajiiwa.tumblr.com


End file.
